How many computer scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None – that’s a hardware problem.

How many industrial designers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None – they just convince you that darkness is a feature.

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

It’s an obscure number… you’ve probably never heard of it.

How many Ubuntu users does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Just run apt-get install -f.

How many Archers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. One two change it and nine to marvel at the Arch Bulb System.

How many sysadmins does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The first time it broke, the admin scheduled a CRON job to handle all future lightbulb maintenance.

How many Java programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to create a Lightbulb, one to create a LighbulbFactory, and one to create an AbstractLightbulbFactory.

How many Perl progammers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four, but they can do it in three characters of code.

How many Python programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Just import anti-darkness.

How many Ruby programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five, but they each figure out eight ways to do it.

How many Lisp programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Seven. (Only (one) does (the work, (but he has to bo(rrow) parentheses from the rest.))

How many Windows users does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but he’ll insist on using 240 volts until it becomes the new standard.

How many Macintosh users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None – they have to take it to their local Apple store to be serviced.

How many Emacs users does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One two change the lightbulb, and two to adjust his carpal tunnel brace.

How many Vim users does it take to change a lightbulb?

ne, as long as he doesn’t forget to enter ‘insert’ mode first. [sic]

(I was only planning on posting three, but I was having too much fun with this.)